Monday, August 20, 2012

Diary of a Real Pregnancy: Week 16 - I Feel (Not) Pretty


Nothing makes you feel more beautiful than pregnancy. Really. I don't think you're ready for this pregnant jelly!

Let's review:
  • There's the gas. Nearly everything makes me gassy, but not consistently so I can actually avoid those things. No, it can strike at any time for any reason. And I'm offending even myself with the noxiousness... it's just not good.
  • The wiggles and jiggles. Things are loosey goosey and all over the place. Blubbery. Dimpley.
  • The dark circles and bags under my eyes. Granted this may be because I don't seem to be able to get to bed before midnight lately, or get woken up by every little thing. But still - it's not pretty. I've heard the phrase "Wow, you look tired." more often than I care to admit. Dont' tell a pregnant woman she looks tired. A) She knows she looks like sh*t, at least pretend she looks okay, and B) She IS tired, dammit.
  • Wrinkles and facial hair and just...wow. I made the mistake of looking in one of those magnifying mirrors the other day... OMG. I went from 35 to 65 in two seconds flat. SCARY!!
  • Skin breakouts galore. On top of the wrinkles and hair, all these pimples make me look like a pubescent old man. It doesn't make sense, does it? No... it doesn't.
  • Mucous. I won't even elaborate on this one. If you've been pregnant you'll know what I mean. If you've never been pregnant, no need to make anyone hurk. Just... yeah.
On the plus side, my hair has been doing great things (like not falling out!)... And my nails are growing like crazy. I still have the bigger boobs which is a really nice bonus, now that they aren't bags of pain and misery. They're fun and bouncy!

The other thing I actually am enjoying at this point is feeling all the little pokes and jabs from baby. It's cute now, while it's just a little 'bump' every now and then, to say "Hi, mom!". At 8.5 months, with feet or a head up in my ribs I know it won't be quite as cute... but it's certainly something to relish now. Like a little secret I'm sharing with the baby ("Hi babe!").

We also tried out the doppler one more time this week. I decided to give it a chance to redeem itself after not working and just irritating me the first few times I tried it. Well when we flicked it on, it immediately said "low battery". Wha...? Is it possible it didn't work before because of the stinkin batteries?? Once we changed them and I plunked the thing on my abdomen, we immediately heard the little 'bah-dum bah-dum bah-dum' from baby. Love, love, love that sound. Doppler = redeemed.

Funny though, The Hubs got all freaked out at first because it took a second to register the real rate and "224" flashed on the screen... I swear he was ready to jump in the car and drive me to the ER right then and there. Thankfully the real rate appeared (150 bpm, in case anyone's keeping track), and The Hubs' eyeballs went back into his head where they belong.

Previous: Week 15: I'm Old, and The Talk
Next: Week 17: Active Baby, and You Are What You Eat