Monday, August 27, 2012

Diary of a Real Pregnancy: Week 17 - Active Baby, and You Are What You Eat

Note I said "Active baby", not "Active, baby". At this point I'm sure a lot of pregnant mamas are doing yoga, swimming, maybe even continuing their aerobics or spinning classes. Not this mama! I think about being more active, a lot, but haven't actually implemented a plan...

No, the active one in this relationship is the baby. Holy heck this child likes to jump and kick! And since s/he is so little there's plenty of room to bounce and roll and catch me by surprise as a reminder that there IS a little person in there. (Yes, I do forget sometimes!)

Also early but very much there now are the Braxton Hicks contractions. Now, when I mentioned these on the blog in one of my previous pregnancies, The Hubs upon reading the blog entry, came tearing upstairs to see if I was okay and what the hell are Braxton... whatever contractions?? They are no big deal, though I will say they've started way early this time -- I don't think they started until closer to 30+ weeks last time. Apparently being a third pregnancy will do that - everything gets going sooner. Right now they aren't too bad since my uterus (gaah I hate that word) is still so small, that it just turns into this hard little ball at the bottom of my abdomen. Weird, but tolerable :)

I also learned a valuable lesson this week about eating right... Now, everyone knows you're supposed to be a pillar of healthy eating while you're pregnant. You have a little one in there to think about, after all. But... well old habits die hard around here, and for me, pregnancy = loss of all willpower when it comes to eating. People say "Take advantage of it, you have the perfect excuse to eat like crap!" Yes well, that's all fine until you can't even function because you feel like such crap yourself.

It all came to a head at the end of this week... I had the day off work and just didn't get off to a good start. I finished a large travel mug of coffee and a bowl of Fruit Loops for breakfast, didn't eat again until noon, and by then I was a crazed lunatic frothing at the mouth (just ask The Hubs, who watched this transformation take place in a furniture store... not pretty). I ended up buying, and eating, a quarter of a pizza in about 26 seconds, and downing a can of gingerale. Ahhhh! Much better. I later spent some time outside in the sun and heat, and I just craved freezies... I ended up having 3 or 4 freezies and then found myself standing at the fridge gullping juice from the container... Can you see where all this is going?

By 4:00 pm I felt so gross that I just wanted to pass out. The Hubs took one look at me and calmly but convincingly told me to get myself to bed. I said I was only going to sleep 20 minutes ("I have an internal clock") because I had stuff to do. He'd get the kids from daycare.

5:30 pm he wakes me up and suggests he can take the kids out for supper ("yes please!"). I tried to get up but couldn't move until 6:00. I felt AWFUL.

Now I don't know if baby was doing some crazy growing and it just wiped me out, or if it was the bad nutrition, but I'm not taking that chance again. It may be the perfect excuse to eat like crap but that doesn't mean you SHOULD, unless you want to feel like crap yourself. Lesson learned... eating right (and drinking water! craving freezies all afternoon should have been a clue to get some H20 in me!) actually IS important. Duhhhh...

Previous: Week 16 - I Feel (Not) Pretty...
Next: Week 18 - Not Much 

Monday, August 20, 2012

Diary of a Real Pregnancy: Week 16 - I Feel (Not) Pretty

Nothing makes you feel more beautiful than pregnancy. Really. I don't think you're ready for this pregnant jelly!

Let's review:
  • There's the gas. Nearly everything makes me gassy, but not consistently so I can actually avoid those things. No, it can strike at any time for any reason. And I'm offending even myself with the noxiousness... it's just not good.
  • The wiggles and jiggles. Things are loosey goosey and all over the place. Blubbery. Dimpley.
  • The dark circles and bags under my eyes. Granted this may be because I don't seem to be able to get to bed before midnight lately, or get woken up by every little thing. But still - it's not pretty. I've heard the phrase "Wow, you look tired." more often than I care to admit. Dont' tell a pregnant woman she looks tired. A) She knows she looks like sh*t, at least pretend she looks okay, and B) She IS tired, dammit.
  • Wrinkles and facial hair and I made the mistake of looking in one of those magnifying mirrors the other day... OMG. I went from 35 to 65 in two seconds flat. SCARY!!
  • Skin breakouts galore. On top of the wrinkles and hair, all these pimples make me look like a pubescent old man. It doesn't make sense, does it? No... it doesn't.
  • Mucous. I won't even elaborate on this one. If you've been pregnant you'll know what I mean. If you've never been pregnant, no need to make anyone hurk. Just... yeah.
On the plus side, my hair has been doing great things (like not falling out!)... And my nails are growing like crazy. I still have the bigger boobs which is a really nice bonus, now that they aren't bags of pain and misery. They're fun and bouncy!

The other thing I actually am enjoying at this point is feeling all the little pokes and jabs from baby. It's cute now, while it's just a little 'bump' every now and then, to say "Hi, mom!". At 8.5 months, with feet or a head up in my ribs I know it won't be quite as cute... but it's certainly something to relish now. Like a little secret I'm sharing with the baby ("Hi babe!").

We also tried out the doppler one more time this week. I decided to give it a chance to redeem itself after not working and just irritating me the first few times I tried it. Well when we flicked it on, it immediately said "low battery". Wha...? Is it possible it didn't work before because of the stinkin batteries?? Once we changed them and I plunked the thing on my abdomen, we immediately heard the little 'bah-dum bah-dum bah-dum' from baby. Love, love, love that sound. Doppler = redeemed.

Funny though, The Hubs got all freaked out at first because it took a second to register the real rate and "224" flashed on the screen... I swear he was ready to jump in the car and drive me to the ER right then and there. Thankfully the real rate appeared (150 bpm, in case anyone's keeping track), and The Hubs' eyeballs went back into his head where they belong.

Previous: Week 15: I'm Old, and The Talk
Next: Week 17: Active Baby, and You Are What You Eat

Monday, August 13, 2012

Diary of a Real Pregnancy: Week 15 - I'm Old, and The Talk

Have I told you all that I'm of Advanced Maternal Age? In other words, in the OB world... old? Up until this point I've laughed at this notion... sure it took us a little longer to get pregnant this time, and we're doing some extra tests and scans, but besides that, 35 isn't actually OLD anymore, right?

Wrong. I am feeling every year of my 35 years. Or maybe it's just that I was hopelessly out of shape when I got pregnant. Whatever it is, I'm feeling it. A co-worker had the gall to come into the building at the same time as me the other morning, and of course since he took the stairs, I had to, too. Damn him. By the time I completed the third flight, I thought my lungs were going to implode, and my legs were on fire. Yep, 15 weeks and I'm feeling it. I was literally wheezing like a geriatric patient. This does not bode well for the rest of this pregnancy!

I feel like I should be doing something (other than eating... I've got that covered) in order to get in better shape. But when? How? What? Swimming? Haha. Maybe. But who has time? Yoga? Again. No time. I know I'd feel better if I did something, so it's something I'll need to think about. I didn't have to do anything the first two times. Damn being old.

Besides all that, this week was the week that my dear, sweet 5-year-old asked me The Question. Not THAT question (how'd it get in there?), the other one. Here's how it went.

I was on my computer (on and The Boy came over, asked what I was doing. I showed him the picture of what the baby looks like now and it's the size of an orange. He was fascinated, and wanted to see each week! All was fine until he asked to see week 40, and I pointed out that the baby was upside-down getting ready to come out.

Open mouth... insert foot.

He laughed and said, "Haha, the baby's FEET are going to come out of your mouth!". I laugh. Silly baby coming out upside-down. Hoping that was the end of it. (I am *terrible* at this, can you tell?)

He thinks about it a minute. Cogs turn. I think, 'Oh god.' And then... "But, HOW does the baby come out? At the hospital."

I feel myself clam up. This is NOT a big deal. WHY am I so stressed about this. I say "You know honey, it just... pops out." Yep. Totally accurate.

He says, "No but, how does it?" What I wanted to say? "Magic!"

Poof! Baby!

Okay. Fine. Fine. I'll just tell him. "Well honey the baby comes out of--" ohgod I have to say it "my... vagina." I might die, right now.

"Your... pachina? What's your pachina?" Seriously? So I say, "Honey it's like where girls pee, and stuff. You know - boys have a penis, girls have a vagina. Down there." Point in the general direction. He pulls a face and says "The baby's going to come out of your BUM???"

This is hilarious and horrific at the same time.

He looks to where I pointed. "Can I see your pachina?" I'm like, "NO you can't see my VAgina." He asks why. I say it's private. He says "But, you know me. So, it's okay. You can show me." LOL. Okay, our talk about keeping private things private except with your parents and people you trust sank in. But, omg. So I laugh and say "No, you are not seeing my vagina." Now please stop talking about my pachina!

Thank GOD he remembered why he came over to talk to me in the first place, and we went about our day without any more 'incidents'.

I swear I'll die the day either of my kids asks how it got in there. 

Previous: Week 14: Mush Brain and Baby Names
Next: Week 16: I Feel (Not) Pretty

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Veggie Garden... so much to learn

Here I thought I'd plant these things, these super awesome 4' x 8' raised garden beds, and they would spring forth with veggies aplenty... enough for us to enjoy fresh-picked salads all summer. OH! How bountiful we'd be! I imagined myself dropping off our extra zucchini and cucumbers and tomatoes at neighbours' doorsteps by the bushelful.

Suffice to say, I still have a LOT to learn about how to grow vegetables. Clearly, abandoning your garden with just a bi-monthly fertilizing and automatic daily 20-minute watering doesn't result in the kinds of yeilds I'd envisioned...

Part of the problem (besides having very little time or energy for it), is the stinkin horseflies. Or deerflies. Whatever they are... I literally step outside and within 2 minutes they attack. They're relentless! I can't STAND them!!! So I run back inside with my one miniature carrot and handful of lettuce that I managed to snag before they got to me and leave the rest to whither.

Now, I will say, we have had a little bit of success, considering how much I've neglected things out there. Yesterday after a week away (and then an ensuing day of laundry), I donned my bug hat and took The Girl out to assess the situation. I was pleasantly surprised to find a handful of green beans, a few fat but stubby carrots (seriously, 2" wide but only 3" long... what the...??) and a handful of red cherry tomatoes. Yay! Only the carrots made it into the house without getting devoured by The Girl and I. The tomato plants are heavy with green fruit just waiting to mature.

I've discovered the joy of eating veggies that you've just grown in your own back yard. There's really nothing sweeter than warm, freshly picked cherry tomatoes off the vine. They were *delicious*. Like candy. It's too bad there weren't more!

But I do know there are a few things I need to do out there... I just need to find the time. I pulled a few weeds (and ended up teaching The Girl the difference between a weed and a pepper plant... a little too late...), staked a couple of errant tomato shoots, and propped the cucumber plants back up on their supports. The one zucchini plant is whithered and doesn't seem to be producing anything, I have one weirdly shaped cucumber and a single miniature pepper, and my lettuce has bolted...

More importantly, I have learned that I have much to learn about all of this. Next year... Next year will be better. I'm going to ROCK it. Salads for everyone!

Thursday, August 02, 2012

Diary of a Real Pregnancy: Week 14 - Mush Brain and Baby Names

mush brain
... huh?...
This week was a follow-up prenatal visit with my doctor, which nearly didn't happen because of the whole Mommy Brain + Pregnancy Brain = Mush Brain. Being so focused on the ultrasound and telling the world our news, I completely forgot to make an appointment for this week. Thankfully my doc is awesome and squeezed me in at the last minute.

Of course having the Mush Brain means also forgetting that prenatal appointments involve peeing in a cup. Oh yeah you didn't know that either? I have this silly habit of making sure I use the washroom before I going anywhere these days... Which is why I found myself in the doc's office washroom, hovering over a teeny tiny cup, thinking "Surely I can squeeze out a few drops..." And is it just me or is aiming into those cups like some kind of a weird carnival game... but without the big stuffed bear at the end? Could they not make these things more like a funnel or something? Is it possible to pee in the cup without getting it all over yourself? No, it's really not.

In any event it turns out a few drops is all they need to do their 'tests'. Which is good, since I'm sure I could not repeat that performance or squeeze out another drop. I've gained 3.5 lbs to date, which I really don't understand since I've been eating like a maniac pothead for weeks now.And, the BEST part of the appointment... hearing the baby's heartbeat! The doc was able to find it right away - yay! Clearly I'm an idiot as I'm been trying to find it with my own home Doppler (don't ask) for weeks and nothing. It sounded lovely too :) 155 bpm. Just right.

Now, I know this is going to sound crazy... but I swear this week I started to feel some movement from baby. Being only 14 weeks and the baby is now the size of a lemon, I'm a bit confounded as to how this is even possible... but I swear there have been a handful of little "bump"s this past week. it feels just like if you gave yourself a quick little poke in the belly... but on the inside. Even having been through this a few times before, that feeling never gets old, especially the first few times.

This week the kids also started suggesting names for the wee one. The Girl is partial to "Elmo", and "Baby Sister" (wishful thinking), but has also suggested "Plate" and "Table". The Boy told me last night he likes "Abby" for a girl and "Max" for a boy. Lovely names... but I think "Plate" has a nice ring to it, don't you?

Previous: Week 13: And Now the World Knows
Next: Week 15 - I'm Old, and The Talk